Dear Job Applicants,
I'm going through resumes for the last
two days and my head hurt for all the stupidity these applicants are gallantly
displaying. So, I'll do myself a favor. I'll tell you what you shouldn't do
when you are applying.
Please keep in mind that your resume is your first step towards employment especially if you are a fresh graduate or in the rank & file position. For the love of God, spellcheck, edit, re-edit, spend time, and put some mother freakin' thought into your resume.
Please keep in mind that your resume is your first step towards employment especially if you are a fresh graduate or in the rank & file position. For the love of God, spellcheck, edit, re-edit, spend time, and put some mother freakin' thought into your resume.
Here are the most common mistakes I've come across with. Please, be original. Don't make these common mistakes.
1. Turning Your Resume Into A Biography
You resume should provide the employer a sneak peak at what you have done and/or achieved professionally. I AM NOT INTERESTED IF YOU GOT MERIT CARDS FOR MATH AND SCIENCE WHEN YOU WERE IN ELEMENTARY. I am not interested what your parents or siblings do for a living, I am not hiring them. I am not interested if you won a hotdog eating competition last year.
2. Impressing The Employer With A
Comprehensive Chronicle Of Your Employment Or Education
As stated, your resume is a sneak peak of your competencies and experience. That being said, under no circumstance, should your resume be more than one page. Know what is essential for the job you are applying for and highlight those. Besides, I am busy, I have no time to know you more than I should.
3. Putting Links To Your Social Networking Sites
... especially if your friendster/facebook/multiply/etc contains "inappropriate" photos or blogs or remarks about you. This is a classic facebook status of one applicant when I clicked her link "spending time with hunny, he is eating me with honey." Where do I begin.
4. Getting Really Creative and "Graphicy"
That's ok if you're applying for a graphic design position or anything to do with visual art. However, if you are applying for an administrative position, I sort of WANT TO SEE ORGANIZATION IN YOUR RESUME. Turning the letters upside down alternately of each heading WILL GIVE ME A HEADACHE. That ain't a good sign.
5. Giving Employer Bull&h!t
Look, whatever you say should (1) be relevant to my need, (2) make sense, and (3) be the truth. Don't give me BS, EVER!
As stated, your resume is a sneak peak of your competencies and experience. That being said, under no circumstance, should your resume be more than one page. Know what is essential for the job you are applying for and highlight those. Besides, I am busy, I have no time to know you more than I should.
3. Putting Links To Your Social Networking Sites
... especially if your friendster/facebook/multiply/etc contains "inappropriate" photos or blogs or remarks about you. This is a classic facebook status of one applicant when I clicked her link "spending time with hunny, he is eating me with honey." Where do I begin.
4. Getting Really Creative and "Graphicy"
That's ok if you're applying for a graphic design position or anything to do with visual art. However, if you are applying for an administrative position, I sort of WANT TO SEE ORGANIZATION IN YOUR RESUME. Turning the letters upside down alternately of each heading WILL GIVE ME A HEADACHE. That ain't a good sign.
5. Giving Employer Bull&h!t
Look, whatever you say should (1) be relevant to my need, (2) make sense, and (3) be the truth. Don't give me BS, EVER!
6. Misspell Words / Typos
If you want to be a proofreader or a writer and spells those words this way: PROORFEADER and WRITR, you're doomed. MS Word will take care of 75% of your content, don't forget your 25%.
If you want to be a proofreader or a writer and spells those words this way: PROORFEADER and WRITR, you're doomed. MS Word will take care of 75% of your content, don't forget your 25%.
7. Putting Inappropriate Photo
If you (1) a whore, (2) are naked, (3) forgot to comb your hair before the pictorial, (4) are with someone else, (5) just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, (6) just did a clown show and you were the star, when the photo was taken, don't use that. Basic requirement is to look respectable.
8. "Sorry, Wrong Number"
Look, if you want this job, give me the correct contact details. There are hundreds lined up , I will not call FBI to look for you.
9. Grammatical/Syntax Errors
Know the difference between:
"on the way" and "on its way"
"entitled" and "titled"
"talk with" and "talk to"
Stop saying "... the reason why is because"
Write in active voice.
Shorten your sentence or write in phrases. If I get the drift, that's pretty much cool.
10. Fabricating Information
You'll never know when the the employer decides to call people or companies you mentioned. By some sheer stroke of bad luck, the employer has or knows someone who has first hand knowledge about the employment you mentioned and achievement you claimed. If you are fabricating or twisting the facts, dude, you're @ss is so done.
If you (1) a whore, (2) are naked, (3) forgot to comb your hair before the pictorial, (4) are with someone else, (5) just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, (6) just did a clown show and you were the star, when the photo was taken, don't use that. Basic requirement is to look respectable.
8. "Sorry, Wrong Number"
Look, if you want this job, give me the correct contact details. There are hundreds lined up , I will not call FBI to look for you.
9. Grammatical/Syntax Errors
Know the difference between:
"on the way" and "on its way"
"entitled" and "titled"
"talk with" and "talk to"
Stop saying "... the reason why is because"
Write in active voice.
Shorten your sentence or write in phrases. If I get the drift, that's pretty much cool.
10. Fabricating Information
You'll never know when the the employer decides to call people or companies you mentioned. By some sheer stroke of bad luck, the employer has or knows someone who has first hand knowledge about the employment you mentioned and achievement you claimed. If you are fabricating or twisting the facts, dude, you're @ss is so done.
Yours truly,
HR Manager
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