Here is the situation.
I have a brother-in-law who beat up my sister (she’s my
half-sister) twice or thrice before. He also had an affair with my sister’s
other half-sister. He also does not provide for his family. In fact, I am the
one who puts their eldest daughter to school, finance her medication (she used
to have cancer), and helps my sister in the monthly bills. There are other
issues.
My sister decided to forgive her. I can’t do anything about that
and I love my niece like a daughter. I practically raised her. Anyway, I don’t
agree with my sister’s decision but I also can’t do anything to change her
mind.
I am civil with him. I think he knows that I will forever be
distant with him because of what he did to my sister. Hitting a girl is
something I can never forget. I have forgiven him but I cannot forget what he
did. I am civil with him for the sake of my sister, my niece and my nephew.
I know and see he makes an effort to have conversations with me
but for the life of me, I can’t. I feel like being civil is it for me.
Now, he is giving me gifts. I think he has a better job now or
something. My sister is the go-between. She asks what I want and stuff like
that. I told my Mom to tell my sister to just use the money to repair their
house or something for their children. My mom did but I think he really wants
to buy me something to... I don't know... maybe his way of trying to get closer
to me or something like that. I keep on saying I don’t want anything but he
recently bought me a sports gear. I guess he figured out I always need sports
gears because I run marathons and do other sports.
Anyway, I do need the gear but I don’t want to accept it. I don’t
want to accept anything from him.
I repeat, I have forgiven him but I haven't forgotten what he has
done. Hitting a woman, the affair... those are just too much for me. However,
my sister chose to forgive him and go back with him. There is nothing I can do
about it. I don't want to cut ties with my niece, my nephew and my sister. I
love them.
Should I reject it? Should I just accept it out of politeness?
What should I do?
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