Funny Break Up Note

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. But it doesn't take any to sit here and not  give a shit about you. Get the fuck out of my life.

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Greatest and Funniest Insults You Can Use

Talking to a god-forsaken mutilated amoeba has more intellectual benefits than conversing with you.

Are you always this stupidor is today a special occasion?

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Break Up Notes

I don't hate you I just don’t care about you.

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Funny Letter to God

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.

Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.

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Letter to Teachers

I got an invitation from my elementary school. They wanted me to speak at the graduation. The letter also contained how proud they are of my achievements – the movie scripts I have written, tv shows I have created, and books I have published. They said that they are proud to have me as an alumnus.

To my elementary school, please don’t be proud. I feel no attachment with you. When I was there, you ignored me. I was just a fat kid in your eyes. You didn’t even want me to participate in school programs because I was too fat.

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