There isn’t a special reason for this
letter. I just realized that next school year we will all be graduating. We
will be busy with thesis, while others are busier with work.
I know this may sound strange but it is
only when I am on my last year of college that I start missing high school. I
miss our Ms. McKenny who always spent the first half of our class recollecting
her own high school days, Mr. Terry who didn’t know a thing about American
history, Mr. Levin who always hinted he works for the C.I.A. and Ms. Bront who
didn’t own a single piece of clothing that fits her perfectly. I miss our walk
from our school to our house. I even miss our fight with our Chemistry teacher.
What’s her name? the one who had humongous eyes?
Would you believe I even miss the “mean
girls” and the food in the caf. Those muffins were terrible! I know it doesn’t
mean much but it made our high school. These were the things that we grew up
with.
Now, we are suddenly feeling the claw of
“grown up world” about to snag us all and we are forced to go with it. I saw
one of those theatre people we hang out with occasionally and he asked me how
is the famous “Crazy Kinks”?
It made me think… How is the Crazy Kinks?
I remember the last time we all came together and “really talked”. Spring of
2007. I never thought that was the last we would open up to each other. After
that, our emails were a paragraph short and two months apart. Our texts even
farther in between. Next thing I knew, Maci had this Mike in her life, LeeLee
got pregnant, Ben moved to Thailand, Fenny went back to North Carolina and
Lucas came out. Those were the last major news I heard about you guys.
It made me sad. I just realized I lost
you guys. We grew apart. You guys concentrated on figures, and babies,
history, mixing drinks, while I drowned myself with words and some half-baked
attempts to write poetry.
Did we intentionally keep our distance?
Did we shut each other out? Or was it time that pulled us apart?
When I saw you in Eve’s christening, I
just felt we all changed. I was waiting for a kiss but it never came. I wanted
to kiss you like the old times but it never came too.
I know we’re all busy living different
lives now. I just wish we share it with each other and made each other a part
of it. I wish I have been more of a friend to all of you. I wish I called more,
emailed more, opened up more. I wish we could still hold each other and not
feel awkward.
I know I can’t possibly make up for the
lost time. I certainly can’t bring back time. I just hope it’s not too late for
us to pick up where we left off. We can start again if necessary, rediscover
each other, reconnect, and hopefully find the same old bond I am sure we always
had.
There was this quote I gave all of you
just before high school graduation in one of my silly notes. I want to give it
again in the hopes that you remember what we meant to each other.
If you need someone, I’ll be here…
If you want to be alone, I’ll understand…
But whatever it is you do,
Please don’t forget…
I care.
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