Thoughts About Life

after a while, you'll realize that romance fades away
when it does, love is the only thing that can hold a relationship together

after a while, you'll realize that goodbyes are forever
and that waiting, hoping, and believing will never bring the person back

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Growing Old Alone

This stupid day is no different from all the stupid days you’ve had. You put on 8 o’ clock and just like the hundreds and even thousands of mornings before, you made your final check before you go – eyeliner perfect, cellphones in the bag, accessories matching your outfit, keys of your car, money to get you by. You glance at you one last time and suddenly it hits you.

Where did that white hair come from?

Lines under your eyes.

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Life On Hold

I wonder how many people are stuck in a job they hate. They stick it out because they think it's just a "stop over on their way to their ideal job."

And God knows how many people are stuck in a relationship with someone they simply like and not love. They stick it out because it's just a "stop over" until they find the person they will spend the rest of their life with. 

How about the girls? The girls who buy clothes a size or two smaller than their real size because they are dieting anyway. Their current size is just a stop over while they shed the pounds. 

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Coping With Breakups | Love Who You Are

I do not apologize for being the woman that I am. I worked hard to be where I am and who I am. I worked hard at being the kind of person that people I love can be proud of, rely on, and count on.

I am not perfect but everyday, I try to be better than the me yesterday.

That is why I expect a lot from a man because I give a lot too.

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Father's Letter to His Son From Prison

My son has decided not to see his father and has not done so to date. I am not sure if he ever will and I am not forcing the issue. I, however, give his father an update about our son because I believe that he deserves to know. I told him that his son is graduating from college and a week after that, I got this letter.

My son has read it and has since started asking questions about his dad.

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A Girl's Confessions

1. I lied so many times… everyday… several  times a day. It’s mostly because what happens to me everyday is boring so I perk my stories up to make it interesting.

2. I envy my cousins and friends. Guys like them. I am not attractive. I am not ugly, I know that, but I am not attractive. I have been waiting for a guy for the longest time now but no one is interested. 

3. I lied to my second boyfriend about being a virgin and to my first boyfriend about him being my first kiss. 

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Rants of an Unemployed

My boss just called me in today to ask me to resign because he doesn't know what to do with me. 

And so here I am... in my mid 30s, single, and unemployed. 

I have a Masters degree. I have 15 years of solid working experience and yet, I am here with no clue where to find work. 

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Just Feeling A Little Tired Of Living

...time could fly by without me feeling it. Fall asleep and wake up when THE month has passed when the waiting is all over, when it’s too late to do anything to change what could have been. Whatever the outcome of this coming may be.

...i could just feel “done” with my careers. i want to not want anything anymore, not need anything, not even care. I want to move on, enter a new world, want something else more than I wanted what I have.

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A Father's Letter To Her Daughter (On Adoption, Growing Up and Love)

Dear Riched,

I always knew this day would come and I have had different scenarios in my mind on how to react when a guy shows up at our doorsteps to pick you up for a date. I thought of scaring him, not facing him, being friendly with him… I had all those… but I never thought I’d feel scared. Yes, my little angel, you father is scared of the 15-year-old boy who is not even half my weight. I’m scared he’ll take you away which I know is silly considering this is just a date but I guess every father earns a free pass on temporary insanity on the day his daughter is to date for the first time.

I have tried to forget about it the minute you walked out that door but I can’t. I feel like this is the beginning of a new phase in your life, that phase when you will start needing us less and less. I wish there is something I can do to delay it.

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The Goodbye That Was Never Said

So here we are – at the end of our long journey. I think destiny finally found its way towards us.

Our last conversation is the most difficult and the easiest I have ever had.

In a relationship as long and difficult as we have had, the decision to end it this way makes me happy for the way we finally decided to do it. Not only were we finally able to talk to each other respectfully, we have managed to do so with the hope of actually being friends in the future.

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Jobless and Happy

It's 4am, I am tired and I have tons of things to do tomorrow but I can't sleep.

It's a Thursday and just two weeks ago, I would be celebrating on a Thursday because I know Friday is about to come and I'd have two days off work but now, I don't have to worry about work because I have none.

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Letter To My Childhood Friends

I just came from a night out with my two best buddies who also happen to be my cousins. i didn't realize how much we grew apart. This is my unsent letter to them. 

You are the two people I spent my childhood with. Memories of home are almost always memories with you. We have been each other’s witnesses to each other’s lives  - as reluctantly as it is fortunately.
 

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Simply, not enough

As much as I would like to believe that you left because it is better for me if you are not around, that you left because i deserve to find someone better, that if I leave myself open, someone better will come along...

As much as I would like to believe that this whole thing is for me... because it is better for me... the only thing that makes sense to me is that you left because I am not enough to make you stay.

I am not enough.

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Happy Birthday To Me

The first quarter was a high. It had the melodic riffs of a Jimi Hendrix and the timelessness of The Beatles. The drums were heartpounding like that of the Rolling Stone. The vocals were belted out loudly but clearly enunciated like that of Linkin Park.
It was a little bit Rock N Roll.

The second quarter was lyrically magical, like that of an Aretha Franklin. The vocals were difficult to follow, often shifting from lows to highs to beyond like that of a Macy Gray. There was sax, there was violin, ocassionally there was harp and, surprisingly, some a capella.
It was a little bit Soul.

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Letters to HighSchool Jocks and Popular Ones

Dear Jocks/ school princess/pretty ones/popular ones,

Make sure you enjoy the popularity, the attention of other students, other students wanting to be like you, and other students wanting to be you. Make sure you pack as much ego as you can because it’s all downhill from here. 

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Thank You Letter To Friends

I just finished writing my first book.

I expected a roller coaster ride but never the intensity of the twists and turns I encountered.

I proved that late night writing, ever-popular oftentimes doubted writers block, caffeine overload, eternal mood swings, anxiety attacks and instant fast food fascination are real and ever present. Those events were expected but there is always an after taste that I didn’t see coming. It is sometimes bad but often a discovery of me and of all these things, living and non-living and the spaces in between, around me.

It is surprising how one character can conveniently alter the structure of my world and then… watch another painfully destroy it. Those were heartaches.

There is also the possession… of things that are not real and so real. And the disappointment of losing them either by necessity or by perverted natural transition of things. No one warned me that it is more devastating to lose someone or something you never possessed.

The challenge to create something new… fresh… unexpected, whatever the fuck that means, out of a clean sheet of paper. These are the moments that make you want to walk the world upside down or use a filter on your eyes or do things inside out.

It brings out the most insane ideas especially when there are conflicts that can’t be resolved or loose ends that need to be tied in the interest of creating a seamless exploration of emotions and events. High after high and a low just deep. In the end, the insane starts making sense… fitting in… settling down… until it creates a circle leading to the end.

The guarantee is that after all those, things become much more bearable and meaningful because I get to live twice and do life through the different me. Eventually, I survived it without making me neither too in love nor too indifferent because it forced me to choose my battles.

To those who helped me ink my first screenplay either by not giving a shit or by giving a part of you voluntarily or otherwise, thank you.

Thanks for the distraction. Inspiration. The lousy debates. Unneeded cigar breaks. Tickling sessions. Planning the out of town trips that never happened (we always have next week, right?) Music trippin. Artworks. Eating. Perpetual late coming. Singing through the bad times, keeping silence through the worse. Making memories in the car… I had fun even though shelling out the dough was just as hard as having a love life.

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As I Wait For The One

I don’t know who you are or where you will be coming from. I don’t know how we will meet or how you will know that I am the one for you once you’ve found me.

I just know that you will. 

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Michael Jackson Handwritten Letter and Painting

Michael Jackson penned a very personal and heartfelt letter to his friend, William Pecchi Jr.

Pecky,

I very, very seldom write letters, but in this moving occasion I couldn’t help myself. I want to thank you for putting the effort forward to capture the magic and excitement of the people of the world. What you do is a very personal and powerful medium to me. It is the art of stopping time, to perserve a moment that the naked eye cannot hold, to capture truth spontaneous truth, the depths of excitement in human spirt. All else will be forgotten, but not the films. Generations from now will experience the excitement you’ve captured; it truly is a time capsule.

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Letter To All Women Looking For Happiness

Never Compromise Yourself, It's All You've Got

We all have dreams, things we aspire for and I am pretty sure there is no lack of opportunities for us to attain it, not without a price though. The price is often, our dignity.

We, at least once, get into a situation when we are forced to go beyond the limitations we have set for ourselves or cross bridges we promised never to cross. Those are tests, a part of our molding to becoming the person we want to remember when we die.

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Lessons I Learned From Running

1) That no pain will lasts longer than you can take it

2) That no matter how much you underestimate yourself, you will eventually be able to do twice as much as you originally sought out too

3) That even when everything is going wrong, it is possible to be strong

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