Funniest Lessons From Life

1. My life is like a porn movie, without the sex

2. Life has a meaning, we just disapprove of it

3. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit

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Contradiction

A broken heart is like a car crash. You see it coming back but it's too late to reverse.

You were the greatest contradiction in my life. You made me a better person but you also made me realize my worst and sometimes it happens at the same time in the worst possible place at the best possible time.

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Funny Resignation Letter 2

This is a real and funny resignation letter. Got this from my officemate.

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Funny Letter of a Wife To a Mistress

Thank you Jennifer,


......For leaving bite marks all over my husbands chest last night. 

No, really, Thank You! You have no idea what a nightmare you have just saved me and my kids from. 

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Funny Birthday Messages

... for the daily drama you bring in to our lives

... for the twisted principles you develop in order to survive

... for the stylized vanity you consistently reinvent

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Break Up Letter

Don't flatter yourself. I am not crying over you, I am jus pissed at myself for not realizing what kind of a piece of shit you really are.

I have to admit, I allowed my vanity to take the best of me so when you started paying attention to me and making me feel special, I pursued you.

Vanity is a bitch.

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Funny Break Up Letter

Dear Rey,

I am a needy person and extremely scared of being alone which is hard for someone like me because I am not exactly an attractive girl. I am not ugly but not the kind that guys would give a second look to. I need a companion and it is strong enough to overrule any other emotion or any thought. I am insecure and demanding.

Yet, I decided to break up with you. That should tell you how horrible you are of a person for the one desperate person in the world to want to break up with you.

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Hilariously Stupid Excuse Letters of Parents to School

Some parents were never meant to be parents.

These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.) 

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 

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Break Up Letter to a Stupid Girl

Dear Shelly,

I should have gotten a clue that our relationship won’t work out when I start realizing that your boob size is the same as your IQ. But I was too infatuated with you beauty. You were, still are, perfect. Your hair is always in place, your make up always the right amount, your dress was always perfect. You’re like a doll… a talking doll… you talk even without a brain. 

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Funny Break Up Note

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. But it doesn't take any to sit here and not  give a shit about you. Get the fuck out of my life.

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Greatest and Funniest Insults You Can Use

Talking to a god-forsaken mutilated amoeba has more intellectual benefits than conversing with you.

Are you always this stupidor is today a special occasion?

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Funny Letter to God

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.

Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.

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Funny Resignation Letter

Dear Mr. XXXXXX,

This is to tender my resignation effective immediately.

As an employee of an established and supposed pioneer of digital advertising, I have very few basic expectations one of which is that my boss would have some understanding of advertising that is well above the understanding of a drunken monkey. What I realized is that you don’t serve a single ecological purpose. Some people are scared of their boss and some are intimidated. I am simply irritated by you.

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10 Kinds of People on Facebook

The Cowards

Learn how to say things to people’s faces, don’t use your status.

The Desperate for Attention

We don’t give a fine fuck what you ate this morning or last night or the night after that… we also don’t give a fine fuck who you saw at the mall or what music you’re listening too…

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Funny Letters to God

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Funny Divorce Letter

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Angry Funny Break Up Letter

Dear Jest,

It is not true that I think you are stupid. You had me as a girlfriend, didn't you? I am stupid because I had you as a boyfriend. 

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