A Father's Letter To Her Daughter (On Adoption, Growing Up and Love)

Dear Riched,

I always knew this day would come and I have had different scenarios in my mind on how to react when a guy shows up at our doorsteps to pick you up for a date. I thought of scaring him, not facing him, being friendly with him… I had all those… but I never thought I’d feel scared. Yes, my little angel, you father is scared of the 15-year-old boy who is not even half my weight. I’m scared he’ll take you away which I know is silly considering this is just a date but I guess every father earns a free pass on temporary insanity on the day his daughter is to date for the first time.

I have tried to forget about it the minute you walked out that door but I can’t. I feel like this is the beginning of a new phase in your life, that phase when you will start needing us less and less. I wish there is something I can do to delay it.

I look at you today, and my mind flashes back to when you first entered our lives as a tiny baby, and my heart is at once overcome with love and admiration for you. You have triumphed over impossible odds. When social service picked you up from your biological parents, you were so thin and sickly they actually thought you’d die in days but you fought honey and look at you now. You bring happiness and life in every room you enter. Who would have thought?

You continue to surprise us. I can help but feel privileged to be witnessing you discover yourself, your life, and the world. I am happy to be there the first time you realized you can sing, the first time you draw, the first time you played the guitar, the first time you rode a horse, the first time you swam… boy, I wonder what else you will discover in the future and I can only hope to still be around when you settle into a path and fulfil your dreams.

I realize now that there you have something questions that I haven’t really tried to provide you the answers and maybe I am being a little unfair. You deserve to know your past and I cannot continue being scared of losing you when you do. I can only trust that I have brought you up well and have loved you well enough for you to stay even when you do learn who your real parents are.

We do not know much about your birth parents other than what our lawyer told us because your adoption records are sealed. What we do know is that they gave you up because they knew they couldn’t provide you the care and love you deserve. Your biological mother did it because she knew it was best for you. Even then, it was the hardest decision she had to make, a decision that we hope we proved to be the right one.

It doesn’t mean, honey, that you are any less our daughter. If at all, it only proves how pure our love is for you because we didn’t have to have you. We had a choice to live a life with only ourselves to take care of but we sought for you. We wanted you, we looked for you, we chose you, and we love you.

If you do decide to look for your birthparents, we will never stand in your way and we promise to do everything we can to help you find them. I am scared. I am terrified that if you find them, you might choose them over us but that is the risk I am willing to take if that is what you need to be happy. Besides, you have already given us 15 years of your life and that I more than enough.

No matter what you decide to do, we will always be there to support you because there is nothing more important to us than your happiness.

I love you, sweetie. I always will and never ever forget that I am proud of you everyday. I will always be you biggest fan.

Lastly, I want to thank you for letting us in your life. You are the greatest miracle in our life.

Your Old Pop