My computer clock says
4AM.It's not as though I've been able to think straight this past two weeks,
due to my inability to cope with you not being around and the lack of sleep
because of too much work, but I do know I should be sleeping by now. In the cab
on the road I was staring at the sky, requiring from it some sort of reaction,
because for the first time in a long time, I wasn't finding the fun in what I
was doing. So I settle for a roll of the eyes and some headshaking... I can't
sleep.
My knee
still hurts due to that iliotibial band syndrome that does not allow me to run.
I miss running. That is the one thing I do that gives me an hour and a half of
my day all to myself. For an hour and a half I am fully excused for not caring
about anything else in the world but my own body… putting my other foot in
front of the other over and over… breathing through my nose and not my mouth…
feeling the air wisps through my skin. It even gives me an excuse to curse,
cry, smile at strangers, and raise my voice.
My eyes are
drooping, and falling flat on my face from some mild form of fatigue would be
the most logical thing to do. But, at this point, too much of my mental energy
is going to my effort to keeping my sanity intact.
